Sagging
by Nephthys Snape
Summary: Jiraiya learns, yet again, that it is not wise to antagonize Tsunade. No matter how much fun he thinks it is. This time, the lesson is unique, and strikes him in a way that truly will get his attention. Blatantly implied yaoi.


A loud crash and the enraged roar of Godaime Hokage echoed throughout the village

A loud crash and the enraged roar of Godaime Hokage echoed throughout the village. The roar itself was not overly unusual, she was well known for her short temper, and a few of the nin in the village seemed to enjoy making her lose it. That the angry tone closely resembled the name of a certain pervert and fellow sannin was not lost on any that heard it, and made the occurrence all the more unsurprising. He, Kakashi, or Naruto got yelled out in such a fashion at least once a week, sometimes more if they were all in the village at once. Like all times, a wager was place and a pool started on just what the toad sage had been foolish, or unlucky, enough to do this time.

"What do you think, senpai?" Tenzou asked Kakashi, the two having just left Ichiraku. They had been training with Naruto when the teen had to be baited into taking a break, and even ramen had taken a while to get the stubborn blond to stop.

"Ero-sennin's a baka," Naruto spoke up, coming up to them. Even after knowing the sannin for so long, it never ceased to amaze him how fast the older man pissed Tsunade off. It never really crossed his mind that he did the same thing, and likely more often.

"Maa... Something about seeing her at the onsen." Kakashi's answer was bored, indifferent, and given with a shrug. Not to mention very unoriginal.

"Why do you say that?" Tenzou was curious. The other jounin sounded almost like he knew for certain, like he did with most things. You just had to know him well enough, and be observant enough, to pick up on it.

"Ero-sennin's _always_ at the onsen. Big leap there." Naruto wasn't impressed, like usual, giving a sour look and putting his arms behind his head. It annoyed him how much effort Kakashi put into not giving any effort, or at least appearing not to.

"Why would he _tell_ her about it?" Tenzou questioned. He didn't think Jiraiya that crazy. And, had he the been caught, the ruckus would have been at the onsen. Not to mention, he didn't think the man wanted another near death experience for the same offense.

Kakashi gave another lazy shrug but, under his mask, was smirking. He had tried to talk Jiraiya out of telling her, but the older man had insisted someone had to. The jounin had shook his head and kissed his lover like he may never see him again. He still wasn't sure he would. "Someone had to," he answered cryptically.

"Had to tell her what?" Naruto questioned, growing both curious and more annoyed. Kakashi pissed him off when he beat around the bush, which was exactly why the older man did it so much, he was sure.

"Safer for you not to know, kid." Kakashi smirked. That one small word would divert all of the blond's attention from what was said to what he was just called. Manipulating Naruto was, sadly, too easy. It made Kakashi worry about him sometimes.

"I'm not a kid any more, senpai." The recently promoted chuunin scowled. He was seventeen, dammit. To him, he hadn't been a kid in years. Life, maybe even a bit of that destiny Neji use to spout about, had seen to that. And, the fact he could look Kakashi in the eye, without having to look up at him, helped.

"You'll always be a kid." Kakashi smirked again. It wasn't lost on him how the blond had picked up Tenzou's habit of calling him senpai. He reached out and mussed Naruto's hair, just like he would when he was so much smaller, before he had grown up to look just like his dad with a little bigger frame.

"Bakayaro," he muttered. He gave Tenzou a pointed 'stand up for me' look.

"Don't drag me into this." Tenzou threw his hands up, wisely staying from their childish dispute. He'd do just about anything for either one of them, but he wasn't being drawn into a silly, childish argument. Which, in his opinion, proved they were both 'kids'.

"Konyounashi." Naruto pouted at him, giving big blue eyes to try to sway him to his cause.

"You're not helping your case, Naruto, and senpai shouldn't be a hypocrite." He needed to divert before he feel to the power of those eyes, which Naruto had learned some time before were perfect to counter his ghoul eyes.

"Ouch. That was a bit harsh." Kakashi's own pout was in his eye and voice. "Now I know I'm not telling you two anything."

"More than one way to find out." Naruto shrugged before darting off toward the tower.

"He really has grown up," Kakashi spoke as they watched him go. A younger Naruto would have loudly needled and begged for him to tell him.

"He had to." Tenzou nods, looking slightly grim as he thought about Naruto's past. Over the previous couple years, as he grew to know Naruto more and more, he grew to hate the life Naruto had lead, to feel sorry for Naruto as much as he could without pitying him. No, Naruto didn't need nor want pity. Tenzou did what Naruto wanted most and acknowledged him, accepted him, and respected him.

Kakashi watched Tenzou, the other to intent on where Naruto had disappeared for him to notice. "We better go before they both end up beat to death. Too much alike for their own good." He started walking toward the center of town, followed by the other jounin, their pace relaxed not harried.

The silver-haired man thought back to his morning.

- - - - - - -

"What are you grinning about?" Kakashi, amused, asked the older man, who had been grinning broadly all morning. He wanted in on whatever the other was up to, or to at least know the details.

"Nothing." Jiraiya smirked down at the head resting on his chest, running his fingers through the gravity defying hair. He jerked and hissed as nimble, strong fingers goosed his ribs. "Okay, okay." He chuckled. "I was at the onsen last evening..." He hissed again as the same exact spot was pinched really hard. "Nani!" Looking down at the glowering face that stared back at him.

"And, just what were you doing at the onsen?" Kakashi didn't mind Jiraiya doing research when he was on the road, unable to have contact with the jounin, but he didn't like him doing so when home.

"Uh... Bathing?" Jiraiya sounded like he was asking if that was the right answer more than answering honestly. In part, it was the truth. He'd just gotten back from traipsing around in nasty places and had wanted to clean up before searching out his virile lover. It wasn't his fault he got distracted.

Kakashi quirked a brow, and the sannin decided then and there he'd been around the sassy chuunin academy instructor too much lately. His expression clearly read 'Go on, and you better make it good'.

"I went to bathe and got a little distracted. I couldn't help it." The sage didn't want to go into more detail. Kakashi was insecure when it came to him paying too much ... _special_ attention to a certain blond.

"And?" He asked expectantly. "Why are you grinning?" The younger man sat up partially, leaning his weight on the broad, well defined chest of the sannin so he could look down at him.

"Do you promise not to get upset?" He realized that sort of question was liable to upset most people in itself, but he trusted Kakashi to be patient and see the conversation through without undo ire.

"I'll do my best." The jounin nodded, watching his lover carefully. He reasoned that, no matter what the sannin may say, it was his bed he was in right now. His bed that he returned to every night he was in the village.

"I was just getting ready to leave when I heard Tsunade in the other side. I couldn't help but take a little peek, for old time's sake, you see..."

"And, if she caught you?" Kakashi pushed up the rest of the way so he was sitting and no longer in physical contact with the other man. Even though he was completely nude and exposed, the look on his face kept Jiraiya from getting distracted by that fact.

"She'd have..."

"Beat the shit out of you. You can be selfish sometimes." He glared, and Jiraiya was beginning to think he needed to keep him away from Iruka completely. He'd seen the chocolate haired man act just like this with Gai, when the vibrant man had upset him.

"I'm the one that would be getting hit. How's that selfish?" The white-haired man never thought to consider beyond that. As far as he was concerned, he would get smacked around and that was that.

"She's almost killed you for it before." Kakashi reminded him blandly. "I'd rather you not die for something stupid."

"She didn't catch me, and I won't do it again, I promise." He leaned up and kissed the smaller man. "As to why I'm amused, despite her jutsu, aging is starting to catch up to her."

Kakashi arched a brow. "And?" He used the tone he often used with Naruto when the blond was rambling on about something and he wanted him to get to the point.

"She's sagging."

The silver-haired nin rolled his eyes. Even he, who found a lot of things amusing and joke worthy, didn't see why this had him grinning at the moment, so soon after their morning love making. They may fuck any other time of the day, but it was always love making of a morning. Slowly waking one another through the pleasure of sweet caresses and gentle kisses.

"I'm going to bring it up when I talk to her later today. Someone has to tell her," Jiraiya explained further. "Don't give me that look. She isn't going to kill me, and it might be useful in one of my books."

"If she doesn't, she may cut off my favorite part of you."

"And here I thought it was my brilliant mind that kept you in my bed." Jiraiya smirked at his younger lover.

"We aren't in _your_ bed, now are we?" Kakashi smirked back before leaning over and giving the sannin a slow, deep kissing. If it was to be their potentially last, he was going to make the most of it. He felt the slight ridges at the roof of the other's mouth, tickling just behind the author's teeth, where he was most sensitive. Drawing soft moans from the other, he moved to straddle the strong hips of his lover, burying his hands in the thick, wild, white mane of hair.

Jiraiya nipped at Kakashi's lips before laving the small red marks with his own tongue. As much as he loved fucking Kakashi, kissing him or being kissed by him was nearly as good. It was for him like ramen for Naruto, a treat he could live off of and would die without.

Finally, Kakashi pulled his pink, kiss and bite swollen lips from the equally puffy lips of the toad sage. "I'm suppose to meet Naruto and Tenzou."

"You can't be late?" Kakashi was always late, why be prompt now when Jiraiya had so many good ways to make him late?

"I'm already a two hours late." He grinned then kissed him again. "I'll make it up to you tonight, if you're still alive."

"I'll live just so you can." He grinned back.

"Sex _would_ be your motivation to live." Kakashi reluctantly climbed off Jiraiya before going to shower and dress. He had no doubt that he, and everyone else, would know the minute Jiraiya was dumb enough to mention something so completely childish to the Hokage. And, he had to admit, her reaction was probably going to be worth it, up to the point her fist got involved.

- - - - - - -

By the time Kakashi and Tenzou caught up with Naruto, he was rolling around on the floor laughing his ass off. Their eyes quickly moved from him to the Hokage, who was calmly sipping sake. Jiraiya was no where in sight, and Kakashi felt a small twinge of worry in his stomach.

"Where's Jiraiya?" He asked Tsunade, voice giving nothing away at the moment. His question sent the wriggling blond, who had started to calm down a bit as Tenzou walked over to him, into another peal of laughter, clutching at his aching ribs.

Tsunade said nothing, just pointed her thumb at the large window behind her. Curiously, Kakashi made his way over to the window. It was then he noticed his lover's clothing laying in a pile below said window. Caution as much as curious, he stuck his head out the window, and all he could do was stare.

"Interesting punishment," Tenzou spoke up from beside him. "Your nose is dripping," he added after the silver-haired nin made no response.

"Huh?" He raised a hand to the front of his mask but couldn't feel anything, though he wouldn't have been surprised to have his fingers turn red. The sight below him was supplying many fantasies to be explored at a later date. Even Tenzou was feeling inspired, and he wondered if he could talk the giggling blond teen behind him to indulge. Naruto was rather adventurous and creative in bed, he had discovered.

"So, going to use this in your next book?" Kakashi called down to Jiraiya. The sannin was suspended beneath the window by chakra enforced wire. His mouth was bound, and he was naked as the day he was born, save for his hitai-ate. The older man jerked against his bonds, cursing into his gag.

"Why is he out there?" Tenzou asked the Hokage.

"Someone had to teach him a lesson," she answered while pouring another saucer of sake.

"Because it's ever worked in the past." Kakashi smirked under his mask. "Can I take him home now?" His single visible eye blazed with kinky thoughts.

"I don't want to see him again this week." She assented, reluctantly. It was easier than having Kakashi annoy her until she did.

"I'm just going to take Naruto and go.." Tenzou did his best not to grin as he collected his blond lover and vacated the building quickly. He had plans for the young man and was eager to see to them.

Kakashi hauled Jiraiya up as though reeling in a fish, tugging hand over hand until he had the older man back inside the office. He didn't bother to untie him or dress him, just grabbing the clothes and transporting them back to his apartment.

Tsunade sighed once she was alone, which wouldn't last long the moment Shizune heard about Jiraiya dangling out the window in his birthday suit. Far as she was concerned, he deserved it. Her breasts _did not_ sag, and certainly not as much as he had shriveled up, which was the point of the display.

Though she knew he hadn't learned a lesson, and was currently getting reward for going through his punishment, she did know he'd not be having as mush fun as he could. Not with the little jutsu she'd used to temporarily cut most of the blood flow off from his penis. He and Kakashi would just have to wait a couple days for it to wear off. She wondered how he would deal with being impotent.

Little did she know a naked Kakashi, save for his mask, would come to her office in the middle of a meeting with the lord of a small neighboring village. It had taken promising to go to fix the problem after the meeting for him to leave, and then she had to try to explain to the stuffy lord why her nin ran around naked yelling about their impotent gay lover and the impotence being her fault. Maybe she'd change her mind and beat the hell out of Jiraiya after all.


End file.
